The Game-changer: Saying What's On Your Mind

~TODAY'S QUOTE~

"El que no llora, no mama."

~TODAY'S HOROSCOPE~

Cancer's Horoscope (Jun 21 - Jul 22) 

Saturday, March 23, 2013

When confronted with unpleasant situations, you often pull into your shell where
you are safely out of harm's way. Unfortunately, the danger of this evasive strategy is
that your unexpressed anger may create more problems now than a short-lived conflict.
You have a chance to positively impact your weekend, but you must be willing to take
a risk and let others know why you aren't happy. Getting your feelings out into the open
can be the game-changer you need to shake up your life.

After reading my horoscope today, I found the above quote to be a perfect fit. Translated the quote means "He who does not cry, does not suckle" or what we know as "A closed mouth does not get fed." This lesson on assertiveness took me years to learn, as well as how to apply it.  A character trait that once defeated me was to not say anything in order to avoid arguing or pushing away someone I wanted in my life. The problem in that was two-fold.  I pondered the situation until I was emotionally weak leaving me without a voice in the friendship/relationship. IF When I finally did bring it up, it was after something else had occurred.  I was also on edge due to multitude of other things I hadn't addressed early on. The bubble would burst -here comes the argument.  An argument I initially attempted to avoid. Once that bridge was crossed, anything and everything, and I place emphasis on EVERYTHING came out of my mouth. Not pretty at all. 

Today, I won't say that I'm a different person. Just older and wiser ;-). I've learned to simply say what's on my mind, while taming my tongue. It was a necessary lesson that now assists me in moving forward and discerning who I should move forward with, even if I truly care for the person. I understand that expressing my thoughts will not always go my way, but I also am enlightened to who around me will listen. We can always agree to disagree. But what I can't have is someone in my circle that is only concerned about their own needs. I believe we all carry a trait of narcissism but the simplest courtesies to another can go the distance. After all, sometimes it really is just that simple. :-)

Journey light,

E

Response to "Man of the House?" and a note to self...

Ok so the other day one of my favs posted a rant titled "Man of the House?" Yes the question mark was very intentional. The trigger was how she came to her cousin's rescue concerning a dead car battery when others specifically, menfolk, did nothing. She noted how we are forever provided with endless magazine articles, books, etc., on how to get and keep a good man. Yet, many men expect to be treated a certain way without lifting a finger to do what our grandfathers did for our grandmothers or what a gentleman does for a lady in distress. Not because they are expected to but because they want to. She even made a point about Lesbianism and women having to do for themselves. Now I responded with my own “amen” of sorts but had to admit that I, through my own trials, often must blame myself for not getting the care I need in a “relationship”. So Brandice I said would post an explanation and here it is.

How is it becoming NATURAL that many men not be about taking care of their woman? What about the men that know they are “GOOD” men? Is chivalry dead and did we, ladies, kill it? Some would argue the new feminist movement of independence is pushing men aside. Others might debate that women have way too much attitude and are hard to satisfy. I can’t speak for anyone else but me (and well 1 or 2 others), but I think in an effort to not close my eyes to the possibility of unconditional love I’ve allowed myself to stray to far from my list of do’s and don’ts, dealmakers and deal-breakers. Sorry folks, as much as I romanticize, the reality is love still does come with conditions. And I often still confuse the concept blurring it with hope. So as much as I may not want to admit this, I’ve lowered my standards and have been accepting of too much. I’m one of those that has become way too laid back in an effort not to nag or overreact. As a result, 2 things have happened. Either he thought he could do whatever or he thought I didn’t really care enough to worry about what he did. Often times my actions resembled the latter, because I don’t do jealousy. Sad thing is it wasn’t even that. Honestly dude, I just think if you’re with me, you see me struggling and you TRULY care about me then you will step up and handle whatever the problem is without me asking. Matter of fact, you won’t even let me get to the struggling part.

In the past year, I’ve moved into a new place, had issues with my car, battled with the manchild (I won lol), and been confronted by a few other minor challenges. But when it came time to handle the challenges that came with each, I’ve had to go it alone. Why?? Because the man I was seeing never offered to say “Let me take care of that baby” and I never made him feel like he had to. I never put a demand on defining our relationship because I felt it made matters complicated and honestly I was a little scared to lock in. To be fair, I’ve had offers to handle simple things but not those things I’d rather not deal with. Not the things that would move an unnecessary cloud from looming over me. Not the things that show this has the potential to be a great partnership. Its not that I don’t know what it looks like. I’ve had two people to show me, but since them, no one has managed to do the same. And I know men hate to be compared but come on son…y’all do the same thing! Afterall, I did say ex meaning something was amiss. I mean if you are use to being treated a certain way, why feel ashamed to admit you not only expect more but deserve more. Keep it 100 though, and be prepared to give just as much or more in order to receive. No need asking for what you can’t give. As for me, I’ve decided I’m done holding on to trying to love him anyway. I’m over the “I want to be in his corner” movement. If he can’t love me the way I deserve then why am I still loving him. Bottom line, if you KNOW how to take care of me then I‘ll have no problem taking care of you. Until the next time….journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings,
E

Just My Thoughts: It Is What It Is

Today's Outlook

Cancer (6/22-7/22)
Is it a case of mistaken identity, or are you just really seeing this person's true colors for the first time? Play detective when it comes to the past. In light of their recent behavior, you may no longer dismiss some erratic or inconsiderate behaviors as 'just one of those things.' In fact, it may be part of a pretty clear pattern. Now that you have the evidence assembled in front of you, you have to decide what to do next. Let your conscience be your guide.

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I've always found it a bit odd that my daily horoscope which I choose to read sporadically and often at the end of the day lines up so conveniently perfect with yesterday's issue. But then I normally reason that I'm sure everyone is going through a very similiar situation regardless of what their sun sign happens to be. But nope...not this time. It simply is, what it is....and for me if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, well then damnitallhell I should know what it is. Doesn't matter how much I may want it to be something else it still remains the same.

As the last line of my outlook suggests, I do allow my conscience to be my guide. Not only that, the older I become the less tolerant I am of waiting games. I don't think I need to see if what I'm feeling now is going to ever go away or if I'm being irrational. I think the fact that a seed of doubt was allowed to take root because no one's trying to stop it speaks volumes. Therefore I just keep it moving. Just this way of thinking in itself has kept me from being the crazy jealous type. You know the one who goes through your emails, text messages, instant messages, snail mail, etc. Counts your condoms or hides one just to see what you can come up with off the top of your head when I demand to know what happens to it. Follows you, shows up at your spot unannounced, calls you all night while you're out with fellas and accuses you of being with someone else. I can keep going. Not because I've done it but because I've had it done to me AND I happen to have a couple of friends whom I love dearly believe "by any means necessary" is fair in games of love and war. I just think if you allow those suspicions to overshadow your thoughts of anything else, its time to let something or someone go.

So is it possible that my way of thinking is warped? Could be. I have no problem accepting that to be the case. But I also have no problem with this being my life and feeling like no one else is entitled to come through and force me to accept something less then what I need. Notice I didn't say want ;-)

Several months ago a friend of mine was venting about things and people who were offering no value to her life and slowly but surely trimming the excess baggage. At the time I thought her words were crude, but I now fully understand what she was expressing and have come to appreciate the introduction to the lesson that would be drawn upon later. As it applies to me today, I am looking around at people and things myself and not only asking the same question she posed but turning it back on myself. So in the next several weeks I have two things to focus on-what value does this part of the journey add to my life and what value do I add to it. Until next time....journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings,

E

Just My Thoughts: Learning, Living, Loving

Cancer (6/22-7/22)
Today’s horoscope: You will be struck by visions of what can be today -- when you look at a child, you'll see a glimpse of the talented adult they might grow up to become. When you look at an empty lot, you'll see the elaborate mansion that could stand there some day. It's a day of fanciful imagining and creativity, so apply your most positive way of thinking to everything you see. Imagine things the way you want them to be, and you will give the universe some hints to go on.

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Early GM Beautiful...Today I'm grateful for God, His arms, His peace, His voice, and friends who've always been there...you never know what someone else is going through, so try being the smile in the middle of confusion instead of the frown...keep loving one another
Yes, I know I’m a bit early lol. I toke a nap and it was way longer then I intended, which means I’m up and thinking. But I promise to try to make this quick ;-)

The last few days have been up and down for me, yet eye-opening. Often I have to go around the world to process how I need to deal with certain things/people. But I feel like that journey doesn’t take as long as it use too. Well sometimes J. Anywho, I spent some well overdue quality time with my closest friends, had some painful talks, learned about Hajj, experienced the best Sunday worship experience I’ve had in a while, and faced a few fears. But more then that after going through several emotions I’m feeling like I’m learning to put me second when it matters most. Not when it comes to winning friends, but when someone else’s burdens/fears out rank my own. I’ve come to realize more and more with each passing day that everyone is struggling with something and this is not the time to question what or dwell on the past. This is the time to be there if you truly consider them a friend.

I don’t know the specifics of what everyone is going through (I don’t need to). I pray that each of you that reads this (tagged or untagged), find joy in the simple things. Remember those things that made you laugh the hardest or smile the widest. When you find yourself needing to cry, consider your tears as the cleanser your soul, mind, and heart need to make way for something new. Sometimes we need a good cry to purge all the old stuff we’ve been carrying around that is useless or keeps us in pain. I pray that your desire to understand why doesn’t create a feeling of anger that consumes you. I pray that each day you wake with a renewed spirit and mind. And I ask that you do the same for me as these things are easy to say but often difficult to apply to self. This is not specific to any particular religious affiliation. This is about learning, living, and loving. Which brings me to my last request, I ask that you continue to love one another. Love you all. Until next time...journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings,
E

Just My Thoughts: The Perils of Dating Again...Ready or Not?

Cancer (6/22-7/22)

Be careful about how much you rely on your instincts today. Because they are based so much on emotions -- and your emotions right now are rapidly fluctuating -- they could be somewhat unreliable. Stick to the facts and if they aren't leading you anywhere concrete, then hold off making any big decisions. Wait for another day, when your head is clearer. Step back, and give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel today without the pressure of it affecting your decision-making abilities.

This little tidbit of advice could represent my next few weeks instead of one day. I know me well enough to admit that I often tap into emotion first. So giving myself permission to feel whatever I feel - Am I really ready to do this dating thing again?? Because that is the one emotion that has been bouncing around lately - my desire to connect with someone I can laugh with, share with, trust, etc. However my thoughts of dating come just like the breeze and change just as fast. I'm finding myself asking many what ifs, couldas, shouldas. Why did I get married and why did I get divorced? Although I know the answer to both. And recognizing the sentimental nature of it all, I remind myself that was a season in my life that provided me with many lessons to carry forward. As we enter into fall/winter, it's just something about this time of year that does that to me. And those damn Publix commercials with the big happy grinning from ear to ear families coming together for a grand holiday meal don't help! I don't see my family as much as I would like and I'm forced to admit as glad as I am that the manchild is out the house, I miss his years as my baby :-( Yes I'm having a moment.

Anywho, so I know even this particular emotion is somewhat seasonal. A couple of years ago I talked about this in another blog, met someone, dated him for a year and we split a year ago. I have been enjoying my time with me, but as I slow down and have way to much time to think, this is what I come up with. And why is that? Because I'm now entering the dating season (October - April). Now if you live up north, your season began in September, so you're a lil' late but due to unpredictably long azz winters, you still have a considerable amount of time to implement whatever plan you have put together. So get 'er going.

See I like hibernating and lose the desire to leave the house as much. I actually cook during this time of the year. Sidenote: I never said I can't cook, I just don't do it anymore. Plus I would rather engage in some type of indoor sport/activity. You know, chess, dominoes, scrabble, operation, or whatever you choose to call it ;-) Now this does not mean, once the spring/summer comes back around, I'll have no use for a brotha, and immediately find reasons to revert back to singlehood. On the contrary, I believe I'm ready for something sincere and longterm. Someone that will share in the summer's festivities and the one after that. Someone who doesn't mind if we actually have activities we share and don't share. Because I do have 'space' issues. The older I get the better I am with knowing what I can and cannot do. I'm just not keen on any talk of marriage (got that t-shirt) or the spreading of one's seed (got that one too). Therefore if the "Yes, We're On the Same Page" code is violated, the abrupt deletion of any and all a brotha's personal info will be initiated. Just saying.

Now if I don't meet anyone or it just doesn't gel, that's fine too. Like the menfolk, I will welcome with open arms another beautiful summer of being footloose and fancyfree. No need in letting a good summer go to waste, especially when that's my downtime. And nope, I don't think I'm all that. I'm good for some, but not for others. Vice versa. I just see no need in attaching myself to someone for the sake of having someone. That's a recipe for misery. If its just a matter of companionship, I can always go by the humane society and pick up a new friend. My issue is what to do? I don't know where to start and I HATE the process. I wish I could be like another friend who has adopted a new conservation/dating policy of "reduce, recycle, reuse. But my ex-s are ex-s for a reason and limited. Out of the two, I dated seriously since my divorce...the first poured bleach all over the next girlfriend's clothing and in her mouthwash (how do I know? small world) and well the other just might be reading this right now. Did I mention I'm a little afraid to date too? Plus I seem to be in the awkward position of what can be a considered a mixed blessing. A male friend refers to me as a 20-40, because I'm often told that I look much younger than I am. Therefore I seem to be approached by men who are way younger, childless, want kids, etc. Our needs don't mesh, experiences are totally different. Then there are those that are about my age or older who just tend to bore the hell out of me or want someone much younger to play with. Which takes me back to what do I do?? I don't believe in searching but I'm thinking I might need to position myself on the field a little better. Help! Until next time.....journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings,

E

Just My Thoughts: Life Happens, But Not Always With You In the Plan.....10.6.09

Hey Beautiful Ones,

For several months I have maintained the "I'm grateful anyhow-it's gonna be alright-this too shall pass" attitude. However, a couple of Sundays ago, like a plane out of fuel, things came to a screeching halt and I crashed. I'm not upset or saddened about where I am now because I believe all that positive energy I stored up from June until now was necessary for this next chapter in my life. I have also been blessed to come in contact with several beautiful people through events, chance encounters and social networking. Either way, many of them or shall I say their words, quotes, thoughts to the masses (that felt like it was specifically written for me)are part of that energy that helps me now. But eventually there comes a time when I must take a step back, stand alone, and make choices that no one else can make for me. That is where I am now. This point and the next one I'm about to make was further confirmed for me on Sunday.

I'm finding a few people coming at me with questions or assumptions that truly don't want the responses I'm prepared to give them. Somewhere in this journey they have come to believe that their position in my life is long term or more personal than it really is. As social as I can be, I'm still very much a person who loves her time alone and enjoys an extremely small group of close friends way more than a room full of people I just met. With that being said, I came to acknowledge with my ex-husband, my son's father and other people who play/played a significant role in my life a lesson first introduced to me through "Until Today" & "Acts of Faith". These two books written by Iyanla Vanzant are ones that I dig out often to rejuvenate my senses. And if you are one of the few that truly know me, then you know what I'm about to say next *smile*.....

"People come into your life for a reason, season, and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do" ~Michelle Ventor

Once you acknowledge that, you'll know how to interact with them (and me) in the future. So such is life, but not always with you in mine or I in yours. There is no magic formula to figuring out who fits where. It only takes a little reflection, not to be confused with reminiscing. Since reminiscing allows you only to take things at surface value, while reflection actually requires thinking along with that occasional stroll down memory lane. Otherwise we may find ourselves making people intended only to be temporary into permanent fixtures. So who's fault is it really, when you become frustrated and exhausted beyond consoling?? Hmm...just something to think about....until the next time.....journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings

E
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I saw this poem years ago, but there is much debate about who is the author...

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reasonyou need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, ourdesire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer yousent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in allother relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown.

So I Seem Hurt = Why I'm Single........Really?

So I haven't written anything in a minute. At least not here anyway. But I have scribbled quite a bit elsewhere in notebooks, on napkins, toilet paper etc :-). Anywho what brings me here tonight is an incident from earlier this evening. I have a particular piece that I perform that women like and the men well I don't know....I think they take it personal. Even though I do the disclaimer, letting them know its not about them and don't be so sensitive. But tonight, I had an older gentleman stop me and tell me he just felt like he should hug me and say "its going to be alright." I laughed and expressed to him that I'm good, it's just a piece. But he wasn't buying it. And although I did admit to him that its personal but it was from years ago, he felt like I was still hurt by it and carrying it around. I guess my answer to his "Are you single? and why?" question sealed the deal on my lonely woe is me sad little miserable life :-) Which makes me curious to know is that the perception most men have of me? That I'm single because I'm hurting? How come I just can't be single because I'm happy with me? WOW. The truth is I'm not hurt at all, but I do remember all too well the way I felt, so going back helps me perform. The poem itself was a therapy piece.


See I get the question are you single followed with why quite often and I always answer, because I'm happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the "I don't need a man chic." I just prefer not to hunt them down and harpoon them. But more than that, I've always put myself in a position behind someone else and never really fully enjoyed me. And that's not anyone else's fault, because I didn't know me either. If you don't know, I've been married. There was no cheating, beatings, addictions, etc. We just grew apart because it was based on surface attraction. We didn't dig deep enough to recognize if there was really any longevity for our relationship. So with me knowing what I know now, having a manchild, and coming to understand myself more, I'm good with me for now. Plus I tried doing the relationship thing again and realized I was still overlooking qualities that play a major role in staying power and effective communication. I think most people fool themselves into thinking they want certain things just to stay with someone. I've figured out it's not worth my sanity nor my joy. So until "that brotha" comes along that I need to connect to, I'm good with the "single" title. Until next time...journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings,

E

Zodiac Compatibility According to Luvologist

Every now and again, y'all know I like to check out my horoscope just to see what I'm looking like according to the stars. AND, if you KNOW me, you also know that I do not believe horoscopes to be roadmaps to one's life but look take the occassional positive messages given to go outside my norm. So when it comes to zodiac signs and charts, the one I find most interesting is the love compatibility chart. Oh, how I wish I could find and connect with a Scorpio!! All my problems would be solved!! j/k....LOL.

The compatibility chart was taken from the Luvologist website. You must check him out, add him on Facebook, Blogtalk Radio, or Twitter. Hmm, wow, now I feel a lil' stalkerish. Well I just try to give credit where it's due :-) And after much time and study, I finally realized that I'm really compatible with (drum roll please) ALL OF YOU!! lol!! Oh I jest. I really wish it were "Just That Simple". However it isn't and when it comes to matters of the heart, I feel it's just like dieting. You have to find what works for you. It can't just be what you read about, but also your experiences pieced together to know what to cherish and what to thrash. But before looking at the other person for that grand experience of love and sexual chemistry, you must be comfortable in your own skin. It took me a minute to get here and I'm still working out my kinks, but bottom line - Know what you need, what you want and definitely what you can live with or without. But hey! What do I know??

Anywho, back to the charts. I think it's an interesting look and you should at least be able to come up with some creative pick up lines ladies and gentlemen . Check your chart out -->here! Sidenote: My ex-husband is the only Pisces I've been involved with and both of my parents are Scorpios but I've never dated one. I might need to post an ad for those two signs, to be followed up with a screening by my Smoochie & D ;-) They know why. Until next time.......journey light!!

Luv, peace, and may you find that special someone

E

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
Posted by Luvologist

Cancer + Aries
Water + Fire = Steam
These two may start out like a house on fire, but it won’t take long for this fire to burn out. Aries’ venturesome spirit along with their wandering eye, enflame Cancer’s jealousy. And Cancer is too easily hurt be Aries’ aggressiveness and sharp tongue. Cancer likes security and domesticity; Aries needs freedom to explore new worlds. Cancer wants to cherish and protect a lover, an attitude that Aries finds to claustrophobic. Both like money, but Aries wants’ to spend it and Cancer wants to keep it. There are too many temperamental problems here.

Cancer + Taurus
Water + Earth = Mud
Both need a sense of security and permanence; both are loving, affectionate, and passionate as well. Cancer adds a dash of imagination to Taurus’ otherwise staid approach to sex. Taurus is possessive and that’s just fine with clinging Cancer. Both are acquisitive moneymakers and together they enjoy the delights of hearth and home. Taurus likes being catered to and Cancer is the one to do it. Steady-going Taurus is also good for Cancer’s moodiness. What each other needs’ the other supplies.

Cancer + Gemini
Water + Air = Rain
Gemini’s sparkle immediately intrigues Cancer, but Cancer won’t find security with fickle, fly-by-night Gemini. Basically Cancer’s nature is emotional and Gemini’s is cerebral, and that makes it difficult for them to understand each other. Although sexual energies are well matched, Cancer will have a hard time adjusting to Gemini’s playful, nonchalant attitude toward love. Possessive Cancer will try to keep Gemini hemmed in, and Gemini can’t abide that. It’s short countdown to the finish.

Cancer + Cancer
Water + Water = Deluge
They have a lot in common and that’s the trouble. They understand each other too well and can wound each other without even trying. Both are too sensitive, too demanding, and too dependent. Cancers are obsessively concerned with their emotional psyches: Each needs an enormous amount of attention, coddling, and reassurance; and resents the other for not giving enough. On the plus side they’re sensual bedmates whose erotic imaginations are sparkles by each other. But that’s rarely enough. This treadmill goes nowhere.

Cancer + Leo
Water + Fire = Steam
Cancer has to get used to Leo’s extroverted exuberance. Otherwise, generous, openhearted, strong Leo is just what insecure Cancer is looking for. Cancer’s marvelous intuitions tell it exactly how to handle proud and flamboyant Leo. Admiration and a lot of flattery are what are needed to keep Leo purring with contentment. Leo is domineering in the bedroom and a little too forthright sexually for Cancer. But Leo’s sunny disposition is a wonderful antidote for Cancer’s moodiness.

Cancer + Virgo
Water + Earth = Mud
Cancer’s responses are emotive while Virgo’s are analytical, but their personalities’ mesh so well that is doesn’t seem to matter. Cancer may have to warm up Virgo a little, but there is fire under the ice. This can turn into a secure, comfortable, and affectionate relationship. Cancer’s struggle for financial security works perfectly with goal-oriented Virgo. Cancer understands Virgo’s needs to protect and each is anxious to please the other. Good auguries.

Cancer + Libra
Water + Air = Rain
This pair operates on entirely different levels: Cancer wants love to be emotionally transcendent while Libra seeks perfect intellectual communion. Libra has no sympathy for Cancer’s moods and Cancer is made insecure by Libra’s detachment and shallow emotions. Cancer is too temperamental and possessive for airy Libra. They have a hard time establishing real sexual rapport and that exasperates Cancer. They both love a beautiful home, but Libra also needs parties and people and outside pleasures. When Cancer turns critical, especially about Libra’s extravagance, Libra starts looking elsewhere.

Cancer + Scorpio
Water + Water = Deluge
Cancer’s sensuality is ignited by Scorpio’s dynamic passions and because Cancer is loyal, Scorpio’s jealousy isn’t provoked. Cancer’s possessiveness will actually make Scorpio feel secure. Cancer admires Scorpio’s strength, while Scorpio finds a haven in Cancer’s emotional commitment. Both are extremely intuitive and sense what will please the other. Together they can build a happy cocoon where they feel safe and loved. This relationship has great intimacy, intensity, and depth. Things just get better all the time.

Cancer + Sagittarius
Water + Fire = Steam
Outgoing Sagittarius can open intellectual vistas for imaginative Cancer, but unfortunately Sagittarius won’t give Cancer the security in love that it always needs. Cancer’s jealousy is aroused by Sagittarius’ flighty, faithless ways; Sagittarius is bored by Cancer’s dependency. Sagittarius like to wander, while Cancer is a stay-at-home. Cancer’s commitment to total togetherness only makes Sagittarius desperate to get away. In addition outspoken Sagittarius’ bluntness continually wounds sensitive Cancer. Better friends than lovers.

Cancer + Capricorn
Water + Earth = Mud
There’s an initial sexual attraction because they are a polarity in the zodiac. If they can overcome their opposite in temperament, they can make a winning combination. But career-oriented Capricorn has too many other interests to give Cancer all the attention it needs. Cancer is shy and sensitive and needs affection, while Capricorn is brusque, aloof and domineering. Cancer takes Capricorn’s reserve as a personal rebuff and becomes moody and critical. The differences may prove too great for long-term happiness.

Cancer + Aquarius
Water + Air = Rain
Cancer’s warm, responsive nature is chilled by Aquarius’ cool self-possession. In turn, Cancer’s clinging and cloying demonstrativeness makes Aquarius feel hemmed in. Aquarius is quick-minded, unpredictable, and apt to be impatient with cautious and hesitant Cancer. And thin skinned Cancer is easily hurt by Aquarius’ caustic humor. Cancer doesn’t understand Aquarius’ essential detachment. Cancer needs to feel close and secure; Aquarius is a lone wolf. Sex may be all right, but there’s little else going for them.

Cancer + Pisces
Water + Water = Deluge
This is an affectionate and sensitive couple who will bolster each other’s ego. Pisces is an imaginative dreamer, but Cancer is an imaginative worker-together they can make their dreams a reality. Pisces provides romance in Cancer’s life and Cancer is the all-protective lover Pisces needs. Both are emotional, intensely devoted and sensitive to each other’s moods. They’ll hit it off in the boudoir, for both are responsive sexually. Cancer has to take the lead, but Pisces is a very willing erotic follower. A harmonious match.

Just My Thoughts: Sharing Philosophies....A Matter of Trust

Today's Horoscope ~ Today is about taking the time you need to establish things -- instead of just trying something for fifteen minutes, you need to delve in and make more of a commitment. This applies to growing relationships, improving your career options, and just entertaining yourself. Don't just send a flirty email to that person you're into. Call them up and get a deeper conversation going. Share your philosophy and they will share theirs with you. This will be a good way to spend the day.


Today’s Quote ~"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved" George MacDonald

So the last couple of days I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. Part of it can be attributed to my current hyper-hormonal state :) but the other, hmm. Let's just say it’s a matter of where to place people in my life, far or near. This is not a matter of love, but a matter of trust.

Ever since I can remember, I have formed my friendships much like I did my intimate relationships, with only those I can trust. If I thought you were a liar, backstabber, cheater, etc, I would simply keep it moving, feeling as though you had no place in my circle. After all if I were a witness to you committing these acts against others, then eventually I believed you would do it to me. That actually still holds true for some things. J But I would take it a step further, going by what I “thought” or “sensed” vs. what I actually experienced or had evidence of from personal experiences. I carried that attitude through high school and college, to later learn that we were all trying to find ourselves and I was in no position to tell someone else what I thought of them. Especially since the majority of the time, I handled it in an immature manner. During the balance of my twenties and early thirties, I didn't seek out friends because I had my family, my ex's family, and my church family to fill my social circle. At the time, I felt content, never realizing the true potential and wealth of knowledge that is derived from conversing with those outside my comfort zone. However, while going through my divorce, I found the need to embrace a new chapter in my life, make my own friends and in all honesty - fuck what somebody else thinks of the people I choose to I deal with and who I call friend. However, the one thing I still to this day use as my barometer for benefit or bullshit is trust? Because I believe trusting a person, far out ranks anything else when it comes to dealing with someone whether they be man or woman. A person may love you and lie to you to spare your feelings, but a person who is truthful even if it hurts a little I trust him/her not to let me go off into the wilderness alone. So my decision to keep you far or near is still “Can I trust you?” I mean if I were talking freely with you about my personal opinions and thoughts......can I trust that you won't judge me? If I fell ill and needed someone by my side......can I trust that you'll be there to help me? If I shared with you my secret inhibitions and desires........can I trust you not to manipulate me to serve your own needs? If I shared with you my goals and dreams.......can I trust you not to rain on my parade? If I were headed in the wrong direction.......can I trust you to turn me around? If I said or did the wrong thing.........can I trust you to be a true friend and let me know how I erred instead of letting it fester or sounding off to someone else?

Bottom line: Can I trust you? Because if I can’t, it would be hard for me to be around you, be me, and speak freely without wondering are you just here for this part of the ride or do you plan to always be in my corner? Because those I call true friends, know I’m in theirs. Until the next time…..journey light.

Luv, peace, and an abundance of blessings,

E