Saturday, January 3, 2009

Life Thoughts by Ducky


My friend, Soli, sent me this and I thought it was too cute not to pass on. Enjoy!

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it....Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year: 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier.

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

3 comments:

Geri said...

LOL! Loved this post. Alot of great things to think about from tight fitting clothes to the swearing on the Bible.

Heat Styled Natural said...

This was really good!

Shana said...

Glad this was really comical. It makes me laugh. I have a couple of other things that tickle me so. I think I sent them to you but, if not, I'm sending them to you again. Luv ya*